Coming Back to Calm: The Power of Nervous System Regulation

There are times when life feels like too much.
Too fast. Too loud. Too demanding.
Moments where you feel yourself tip into overwhelm — heart racing, chest tight, thoughts spiralling. Or maybe the opposite — a sense of shutting down, going numb, disappearing inside yourself.

These responses aren’t weaknesses. They’re not signs that you’re broken or failing. They’re signs that your nervous system is doing its best to protect you.

But what if, instead of judging those responses, we learnt to listen to them? What if we could gently guide ourselves back to balance and greater ease— not through force or control, but through compassion and awareness?

This is the heart of nervous system regulation.
It’s the art of coming home to yourself.
Of finding steadiness when we feel in the storm.

Understanding the Nervous System

Your nervous system is your body’s communication network. It keeps you alive, safe, and responsive to the world around you. But it’s not just about physical survival — it deeply affects how you feel.

When you're under stress or feel threatened — physically, emotionally or even energetically — your body may go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. These are automatic, built-in survival responses. And they can be triggered not just by major events, but by the everyday pressures of modern life: deadlines, conflict, too many decisions, a harsh inner critic.

Learning to regulate your nervous system means learning how to notice when you're out of balance — and having tools to gently support yourself back into a state of calm connection.

It’s not about never getting triggered.
It’s about knowing how to come back to a place that feels more comfortable to exist in.

Why Regulation Matters

When your nervous system is dysregulated, even small things can feel huge. You might react in ways you don’t recognise. You might feel anxious, shut down, disconnected from yourself or others.

When your system is regulated, you're more grounded. More present. More able to respond with intention instead of reactivity. You can make clearer decisions, connect more deeply, and access your inner resources with greater ease.

In essence — you feel safe in your own body. And that’s where real healing begins.

Simple Techniques for Regulation

You don’t need complicated tools or long routines to regulate your nervous system. The most powerful practices are often the simplest — ones you can return to at any moment.

Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

1. Grounding through the body
Bring your awareness to your feet. Feel the floor beneath you. Wiggle your toes. Press your heels down. Let your attention drop from your mind into your body. This brings you back to the present — back to safety.

2. The power of breath
Try this: Inhale for a count of four. Exhale for a count of six.
Longer exhales tell your body it’s safe to soften. They signal the parasympathetic nervous system — the “rest and digest” response — and bring calm.

3. Orienting
Gently look around the space you’re in. Let your eyes land on different objects. Name them silently. This tells your brain, I’m here. I’m safe. Nothing is threatening me right now.

4. Self-touch
Place your hand over your heart, or one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Feel the warmth. This can be incredibly calming and helps release oxytocin — the connection hormone.

5. Gentle movement
Sometimes stillness can feel unsafe if we’re highly activated. Gentle rocking, shaking, stretching, or swaying side to side can help your system discharge built-up energy. 

There are many sessions where we are shaking and grounding in the clinic. I invite this to be fun, play and silly - this also helps us deeply.

These aren’t just techniques — they’re acts of love. They’re how you say to yourself, “I see you. I’m here. You’re not alone.”

A New Way of Being

Regulation isn’t about becoming perfectly calm all the time. Life will still happen. Challenges will still come. How could they not?

But the difference is, you’ll have a toolkit.
You’ll have self-awareness.
You’ll have compassion for your body’s wisdom.

And over time, you may begin to notice that your baseline starts to shift. That you’re living less in reaction and more in response. That you feel safer, softer, more you.

This is nervous system regulation. Not just as a concept, but as a lived experience. As a practice of returning — again and again — to your centre.

So if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, shut down, scattered, or stuck — let this be your reminder:
You’re not broken.
Your body is wise.
And with gentleness, you can return to calm.
You can come home to yourself.

With warmth always
Nicola